Tomorrow I am starting the novel "The Talented Mr. Ripley" since we will be working on the screenplay in my acting group. I decided to approach my work this semester as if I got the part so hopefully the novel will give me valuable insight when doing my scene work and character building.
All in all life is very good. My objective, of late is to put my focus as much as possible on creating the life I want and not thinking of what is not working. So, while I am not working professionally, my classwork will be approached as if it is professional work and not just something for class. It is all a choice but I believe it will help me work harder and lessen the chances of "phoning in" the work or just being lazy.
My new approach has been inspired by the two books The Law of Attraction and Money and the Law of Attraction by Ester and Jerry Hicks - part of the Teachings of Abraham series of books. What I love about both books is the emphasis on using your thoughts and emotions to guide you in achieving the life you want. They are all about the journey being joyful not about the getting of things.For them life is about living in "alignment" with Well-Being.It is an interesting perspective because I do believe the joy is in the journey but in actuality I wasn't living that belief in my own life.
So the getting of anything is an indicator of being "in alignment" or "out of alignment" as opposed to the driving force of your life. You can focus on the "What is" reality of your life or focus on the "what you want". Initially as I tried focusing on what I wanted I found myself dwelling on what was not working and getting depressed about whether the future would ever turn out as I wanted regarding my acting career. Eventually, I started just trying to have fun with spending 15 minutes each day just thinking "Wouldn't it be wonderful if..." and proceeding to think positive affirming thoughts about my career and allowing money to flow into my life from sources known and unknown. To my surprise, the next day I got an audition. The day after, I got a refund of nearly $1000.00 from the IRS for a mistake I made on my tax return. Whether anyone else thinks of it as coincidence or luck, I don't care. It was for me an example of how life flows when I stay in a positive space. And aside from these instances, I found I have just been so much happier in my day because I was never so conscious of just how much time I spent being afraid, or nervous or depressed and stuck in a "life sucks" mode. So given a choice I would rather expect good things to happen and enjoy them when they arrive instead of expect the worst then continue to beat myself up about what is not working. Life is just too short to waste seeking confirmation of the negative when being positive is so much more fun!
It is not a simple thing changing your thoughts from a decade or two of negativity to one of positive expectation but it is worth the journey. I feel as if I have not been present in my life until now.
If I wasn't trying to be super happy, I was wallowing in fear. At this stage in the game I am simply allowing myself to be open to how I am feeling as a gauge and enjoying imagining the possibilities of how wonderful life can be. In the process I have spent less time dealing with runaway stress and more in a state of hope and a genuine feeling of joy. It has been pretty effective to catch myself feeling negative and say "hey where I am is where I am and that's okay." Talk about a powerful diffuser.
I am planning to take the plunge sometime this month and drop my cable service. As I focus more on my acting and creating what I want, I am loving listening to music more (there's nothing like a little Jazz in the evening) and reading a good book. The desire to "vegetate" in front of the tv is not as appealing as it use to be.
Well, time for some Miles Davis and another chapter of Peter Fonda's life to get my evening into a pleasant space.
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