Making It Through The Rain...

Well, it is another year I am unable to go home for Christmas. This time it is for a good cause. I will be going home in June for my nephew Zen's high school graduation. In the grand scheme of things that is more important to me and my family, but it doesn't make missing my family during the holidays any less emotional. It is the holidays after all.:)

It is times like this when I am having to make choices for financial reasons that I have my moment of questioning why I am doing this acting thing. The truth... I could not be happy if I did anything else.

I accepted recently however that I have been in a holding pattern in the struggling artist chapter of my life way too long. It is time to turn the page and start writing a new attitude toward my career and my life.

During a self-analysis exercise in my 12 week acting class, I discovered that while I have for years wanted to be an actor, I never actually BELIEVED it would happen for me. It is not that I openly thought that, but it was one of those lurking negative thoughts you hold in the back of your mind and mumble under your breath at moments of disappointment. The exercise allowed me to hear it and it was a bit of a shock. However, in the acknowledgement of this secret thought, I put light to it and gave myself something tangible to work on so I can eventually eliminate it from my life. If I don't believe in my own success, in whatever area of my life, who else will? I know now I will make it through the rain and I am strong enough to create the life I want for myself! It will take whatever time it takes but I will make the changes I need to make so I can enjoy this journey more than I have allowed myself in the past. Embracing the fact that there is no other career that will bring me the joy acting does, why not go for it? Fear be damned! I will make it!! I love acting more than anything else in my life. It is time to believe and allow myself to spread my wings and fly as high as I can imagine!