Making New Choices and Telling New Stories

The journey keeps providing me with opportunities to start "walking the walk" as they say. I decided on Monday to make my commitment to health and re-sculpting my body a major priority. So I woke up at 6 am, having breakfast and beginning a 3 mile run to my gym. When I got to the gym I pushed myself to do more sets and build up my weightlifting slowly so I can enjoy the small victories rather than let my ego dictate my progress. Afterward, I jogged back home and prepared to embrace the day with enthusiasm.

Later that night I guess the Universe decided to see if I was really no longer in need of a bully. My friend called and in his usual fashion tried to trigger me. However, I was feeling so good and not interested in being triggered. Not taking his bait he decided to go for where he thought he would be able to get me. Smoking. He asked me if I was still smoking. I told him I have been back and forth but now I am focusing on getting in shape and hoped it would lose its hold as I enjoyed working out more. He continued to tell me I would get lung cancer and die but he would not be taking care of me when I am approaching death as his "humorous" way of trying to scare me.  He kept trying to bait me. He said he feels since I have been smoking for so long that I would never be successful by focusing on exercise but should go get help. I said I am choosing right now to stop smoking and use exercise as my focus to stay on track. He argued for my failure. I told him I don't discuss my smoking with him because when  I have told him I was quitting in the past he makes jokes about how my quitting is a "joke" and when I do smoke he constantly talks of me dying. In the end, I said, my smoking or quitting is not about anyone else but me. I told him he can decide to be a friend and support my journey or he can make this about being "right". He decided to be a friend.

So what was that out-of- the-blue telephone debate my friend and I had about my smoking really about? One aspect is, it is simply the most logical next step to stop smoking if my priority is better help and re-sculpting my body. My friend bringing it up as a futile battle provided me with a means of challenging myself to get real about how committed I was to change. Normally, I would be more upset about my friend but he is irrelevant. My intuition was telling me the time is right to take this journey but with a deeper awareness of what I am doing and why I am doing it. In a strange way, I feel more empowered because things seem to be falling into place.

I am on day four of my daily run and workout sessions. I have been feeling amazing. My eating habits have also begun to change, I am shifting to 6 small meals instead of 3 big ones and will see how that affects my routine.

I also, decided to start telling a new story.  No longer will I tell the "worn out story about quitting smoking", that just keeps me in the cycle of "Will I/Won't I" fail.  After this blog post, I will be focusing on getting healthy and cigarettes have no place in the story of my healthy life.           

I must admit much of this week has been so successful because I rediscovered my I-Pod and the effect music has on me!. Having to reload I-Tunes and all of my music cds, I decided to make a three hour exercise mix of music that would motivate me.  It has been amazing! I don't think about anything but how good I feel. My favorite song has lately been "Listen" from "Dreamgirls" sung by Beyonce!  It seems to speak to where I am right now and it leaves me charged up!

I look forward to getting more and more wrapped up in my wellness routine. My biggest challenge has actually been the shift to  6 small meals.