Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Gift of Surrender

As I move into the month of June 2011, I find myself embracing a new sense of peace. With all the stress and confusion of the past few months, it didn't seem like there was a lot to look forward to on all fronts. I reached a point one evening when I simply started talking to God, the Universe, that voice inside I always called my intuition, whatever you want to call it. I said "I surrender" I cannot do this on my own anymore. I surrendered everything, my career, my hopes my dreams for the life I want to live. I must say, at first it just felt good to ask for help and put my faith in that part of me that I trusted once so completely.

The next day (last Thursday to be exact)it began. I got a call for an audition for "The Nine Lives of Chloe King". I thought "Wow, thanks, God" for giving me a lifeline here during this bleak period. It was a small role I was auditioning for but I was happy. My manager called and said it was at 5:45pm Friday at CBS Radford Studios. I said Cool. and I thanked the Universe and said it's all in your hands so I leave it up to you.

I arrived last Friday at 5:30 to have time to make it across the lot to wherever I was auditioning. However, the security guard had a surprise for me. He said, I have you down for an audition time of 12:45 but your papers say 5:45 so good luck." For a minute I froze realizing that something was seriously off. I stopped and laughed and said "Hey God, I turned everything up to you so this is all in your hands." I proceeded to get lost on the lot until a wardrobe lady kindly guided me to the correct bungalow. I entered and while the sign in sheet was still out, there was no one else waiting to audition. I signed in and sat down waiting for five minutes until I heard the sound of voices on the second floor. Not sure what possessed me, but I got up and walked up in search of voices. I came across a startled casting assistant who happened to be hanging out with her sister in the office before heading home. I told her I came for my 5:45 audition and once she got over her shock at my arrival she said, "Well, the director and everyone is gone but why don't I put you on tape anyway and I can have my sister read with you if you don't mind?" I smiled and said "Sure, thank you". We three walked downstairs and had fun knocking out my audition. I thanked them deeply for helping me out and putting my audition tape up for the producers to view with the others who arrived at 12:45pm. To be honest, I was so happy that they were kind enough to fit me in I left the studio lot feeling amazingly happy.

Tuesday rolled around and I got a call I was on a "Watch and Advise" which meant they were interested but hadn't made a final decision. I thanked God for taking charge and hung up the phone on Cloud Nine. By 3pm Wednesday afternoon I got another call saying I got the job!

Is all this just some bizarre coincidence? I don't think so! This evening, I received a pdf of the script I am acting in next week. I found myself laughing with unexpected joy and gratitude as I realized that this is my life! I am an actor and I get paid to "play", to be creative, and create work that hopefully entertains people! It is easy to slip into being depressed trying and trying to get an "in" in this industry. Yet tonight something in me reminded me that I am so incredibly blessed that life has led me to a place where I am actually living my dreams. I can do nothing but enjoy and appreciate this time. I don't have any fear of making mistakes or anything like that. I am just uncontrollably HAPPY! I am living my dreams and appreciating every opportunity I get to act!

The amazing thing is I understand I never really have been alone in my journey. I only thought I was. I surrendered control and something amazing opened up for me. I know that life holds limitless possibilities and I look forward to the uncharted territory that lies ahead!!

I have been wanting to reconnect to that intuitive voice I feel is God Within. Whatever else I have gained from these recent experiences, I know for certain that my "surrendering to Source" has brought me into joyful reunion with that which I have been seeking. How do I know? I have felt a joy, a connection and a peace of mind like I have never known before. And for that I am so grateful.


3 comments:

Jenny said...

Awww, i really loved this article: full of inspiration and positivity. Hope you did well/you are doing well with this project ;) God bless :D

A More Interesting Life said...

Thanks! Yes things are going well! Take care:)

Jeff Patterson said...

I read your blog this afternoon from where I left off a couple of months ago all the way to present day, and ending with this post was satisfying to say the least. I'm so happy for you. I'm glad you got the part! But even more, I'm glad you reached that point of surrender. Blessings all around! Keep us updated!

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