Getting What You Believe...

I have made it to April 2011. I am an actor who despite all signs to the contrary remains dare I say...HOPEFUL. To say the last few months have been challenging would be an understatement. However, with all the ups and downs, the only thing that became abundantly clear is that my life was reflecting the predominant thoughts I held on to, whether positive or negative. When I gave into the stress of my circumstances, it felt as if more drama just kept on coming. Last week, something clicked in my brain and once again I decided to "believe" that everything would work out and that if as I believe I am but one part of the great Universal Consciousness that expresses itself through me than, why am I trying to go it alone. I decided to turn everything over to the Universe. I believe with every fiber in me that the Universe will work it out for me. I can only hold firm to the belief that what I want is to make a contribution to the world and express my best self through my work as an actor.  I am trusting that the Universe will handle the details and I must move forward as if the success I desire is assured. It is a leap of faith but either I live my beliefs or I concede that I don't actually believe in my own beliefs!

Now I won't be just sitting by the phone waiting for life to happen. I will however, stop focusing on any inner doubts. Those doubts are just indicators of disbelief. I am focusing on living my beliefs so strongly that my actions are signs of my positive expectation of the success the Universe is creating into my experience. I guess this may seem ridiculous to anyone reading this. However, I have been so aware that I have been focusing on doubts and fears of not succeeding as an actor and it has done nothing but prove my fears true. So, why not dive head long into accepting nothing but the success I desire. Who cares what anyone thinks. Most folks think I am crazy anyway for attempting to go back to acting when it is such an "iffy" career choice for most.

I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Focusing on my fears is draining. So far, focusing on my beliefs has actually got me laughing, smiling and enjoying more of my day.  If I am heading to "crazytown" at least it will be a fun trip to the local nut house!

It's funny. This blog is becoming the mental map of my understanding my own thought process. I was not aware just how up and down my thinking is regarding my career. For a while I am positive then for a while I question if I have what it takes. The only thing that stays consistent is my desire to be a successful actor.

I intend to shape my thoughts and imagination to more consistently focus on what I want rather than that which I do not want.

Here's to keeping myself on track with the best expression of who I am.  The rest is in the hands of the Universe!