Taking a Deep Breath and Letting Go...

It is time to move into my truth and face my biggest challenge.

I firmly believe that this process of directing my thoughts and feelings in the direction I want rather than on what I don't want is the key to creating the life of my dreams. The challenge is that I have used cigarettes as a crutch to deal with the stress and fears in my life.

Now it has become clear to me that I must stop smoking and allow myself to feel FULLY what I am feeling. This is truly new territory because I feel things intensely especially when I am not smoking. I have faith that I will be able to navigate my way through this but it will definitely be a challenge. Many good friends of mine are smokers and I hope they can respect my desire to quit but if they don't that will not deter me. I want to do this and I need to do this for myself. I know that in doing this I will be jumpstarting my journey because I will be living fully every experience.  I have no judgement for anyone else who chooses to smoke. I just know for myself that if I want to live fully I must experience all of my emotions and not hide behind the cigarettes.     

I will definitely be relying on my running and gym workouts to get me through to the otherside.

Initially I planned on quitting when I went home for christmas. However, as the thought of quitting has been coming up for me quite frequently lately, I have no real reason why I don't just stop now. So, I will go to bed tonight and awaken to my first smoke-free day.

It seems odd that a wrapper of dried leaves should have such an impact on my day to day life. If I want to live in my truth I must walk in my truth. I have tried quitting so often it is ridiculous. But each time I started back was because I had a hard time feeling things so intensely. The hard truth is to embrace what life and Source has in store for me, I must actually embrace it and not hold to these dried leaves. They have become a symbol of my biggest fears. How can I continue using them when they keep me stuck?  In the end these dried leaves have no power other than that which I give them. I choose to channel the energy that will assuredly arise within me to breathing in as much joy and fun into my life and acting career as I can.