One Small Step For This Man...

Okay. I have spent quite a bit of time this week pondering some of the root causes of my smoking addiction - YES it is an addiction, apparently harder to kick than heroin, or so I am told.  I actually believe it which is all the more reason to quit. The good news is that after all this thinking and trial and error attempts to quit on my own, I have done something I rarely ever do. I reached out for help. While watching the 4:00 pm news, i saw a commercial for 1-800-NOBUTTS and decided quite spontaneously to call for their free support services. I was taken through a brief questionnaire and discovered, through my responses that I have been a bit down in the dumps lately if not close to being depressed. Now this is my own diagnosis, not theirs. It just came very clear from my answers that my thoughts of late have been what I would characterize as behavior of someone who is depressed. It's funny how you can be oblivious to things and I guess when you are ready to see or hear things they come into focus in your mind.

So, I scheduled an appointment to talk with a support specialist, I guess you would call him or her, via phone tonight at 6:30 pm and will be receiving literature to help me out as well through the mail. I also agreed to be contacted at a later date to see how I am doing and how their support helped or didn't help me. I kind of like that as it gives me a small added incentive to work harder because I know at least someone out there will be holding me accountable. As a single guy with most of my family on the east coast, it is easy to talk myself into buying a pack of cigarettes but at least knowing someone will be checking up will give me something to pause and contemplate before I make another purchase of those addictive sticks!

I want to run the LA marathon smokefree and time is running out! The marathon is March 21st! I have been training but I know my training and my workouts would be so much more enjoyable and effective if I can just lick this addiction.

Success has not come yet with this endeavor but at least I haven't thrown in the towel. This hero's journey would be very boring if there weren't some real serious challenges to be faced and conquered. I guess cigarettes are my "Medusa" that I must behead or be turned to stone!

With a little luck, cunning, and hard work, I will find my way and slay this "Monster" once and for all!!